“There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.” - Tina Fey
"It says here you stole a police horse?"
"Boys will be boys."
"And you were… nude, at the time?"
"It was spring."
"This is Allison Tisdale."
"Looks like I have a fan."
"Yeah. A very deranged fan."
"Oh, you don’t look deranged to me."
"People are dead, Mr. Castle.”
"I’m not asking for the bodies, just the pictures.”
my writing style could best be described as “probably more commas than is entirely necessary”